8.02.2005

Just not that into you

I saw an Oprah episode about this guy who wrote this book called "He's Just Not That Into You." Frankly, I thought the whole idea of it was a crock of shit. "Great," I thought, " one more self-help book, yet another ploy to exploit the vulnerabilty of the female species, just another way to let them know that they are FABULOUS, and that men don't deserve them. O sya... sige na... whatever.

I came across the exact same book last week. An officemate of mine not only bought it, but vouched for it. So I thought to give it a read... at leat the first 5-7 pages. What I discovered was (a) It was, in fact, an interesting read, (b) the guy who wrote it actually has a point, and (c) Oprah's book club is ACTUALLY credible. Go Oprah! Astig ka talaga, sister!

Here are some portions that caught my attention:

Chapter One: he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out
Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out

Dear Greg,
I'm so disappointed. I have this friend that I've known platonically for about ten years. He lives in a different city and recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. Well, Greg, I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance. Can't I give him a nudge now? Isn't that what friends are for?
Jodi

Dear Friendly Girl,

I hate to tell you, but that whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves — we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. And please, don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he's scared of — and I say this with a lot of love — is how not attracted to you he is.

Anyway... credible, rational, and logical as the book may seem (true naman, in fairness)... I can't help but think that maybe... MAYBE... I can write a type of counterpoint to this book... panabla ba. Although I agree with the author (or at least I do as far as I have read), there are some parts that I can disagree with... the parts in my life that do prove that yeah... they really AREN'T that into me.

Point ko lang is... what if they're never that into you? Saan ka na nun?

Hindi pity party 'to, ha. I really just am wondering. What then, then?

Bnx, 4:23 AM